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One of the quickest and easiest way to detect that your spouse or partner is cheating on you is by the sudden change in your behavior. This behavior can be a change of attitude towards life, a change of attitude towards the children, or just in general a change of attitude towards the whole idea of commitment (or marriage). If you are looking to keep that discreet affair a secret from your spouse or partner, then the best suggestion is to make sure that you do not change your behavior too drastically to warrant any kind of suspicion.
If you suddenly becomes too defensive
While you definitely need to be extra careful in everything that you do when you are having an affair, such as making sure that you do not leave any damning evidence behind, you should also be aware that your attitude can change because of your extramarital relationship. Some people tend to be very defensive when they are having an affair. If your spouse asks where you were, do not get all defensive and flabbergasted. Do not go around the subject, make sure you have a clear and concise answer for your spouse or partner so as not to raise any suspicion.
If you become all aggravated and annoyed
Do not start comparing your spouse to your lover, and with that comes the frustration that your spouse or partner is unlike your lover. Your lover is a “part time” lover, hence you will tend to see all the “benefits” or “best sides” in your lover. You will think that your lover has the best body, has the best attitude, has the best personality, which is everything that you are looking for in your spouse or partner. While it is easier said than done, try not to compare your lover to your spouse or partner. Your spouse or partner is not dumb, if he or she starts to feel that changing attitude towards him or her, he or she can easily suspect that you are having an affair.
If you want a discreet affair, pretend everything is normal
Try to pretend that everything is the same as it was before you had your affair. Treat your spouse or partner the same way. Definitely do not change your attitude drastically because it is a good indication to your spouse or partner that you are having an affair with someone else. Remember, if you want to have this lasting discreet affair, make sure that your spouse or partner does not suspect you of having an affair. The consequence of being caught cheating is more dire than you will ever want to face.
Continue Reading »You have come to this website obviously because you are contemplating whether to have an affair or not. This is a very serious question and you must definitely think it through carefully before acting on it. Having a discreet affair can be fun and sexually fulfilling (if you are having a sexual affair), but you have be aware of the consequences if you were to get caught by your spouse or partner in life. I will try to give you some reasons why choosing to have an affair can be advantageous to you or not.
Why you should have an affair
If you are married and have children with your spouse or partner, a divorce can be devastating to your children. While it is not a “big thing” nowadays to get a divorce, it will still affect your children on some level that might traumatize them in the future. Being the good husband, wife or companion that you are, you might not want to put your children in this kind of difficult position. Hence you can choose to justify your need to have an affair because you are doing it for your children.
Another reason why people choose to stay married to their spouse or committed to their partner is that it will save them a lot of money financially. Imagine having to pay spousal and or child support, on top of your own living expenses. Unless you have millions of dollars that you do not care about, then most average Americans will be hurt by the need to pay 30-50% of their income due to the divorce.
Why is having an affair a bad idea
Morally speaking, if you are choosing to have an affair, it is unacceptable in most culture or religion. It is generally accepted that you should always be monogamous to your spouse or partner. Since you have made a decision to marry your spouse or be committed to your partner, you should try to work out the differences with him or her. If the situation between your spouse or your partner turns so bad that it is just impossible to stay together, then get a divorce and then you can find someone else. Instead of cheating on your wife or cheating on your husband, make sure you get a divorce first. But if the reason listed above on why you should have an affair applies to you, you might want to reconsider your decision to get a divorce. There is a delicate balance of when you should cross this line, and it must be thoroughly investigated by yourself before you take this drastic next step.
Continue Reading »Have you found yourself in a marriage where your wife or husband complains about everything that you do? Does it make you feel small and useless when your spouse constantly nag at you for the things that you have done? Is it turning out unbearable that you need to find an outlet that can help you alleviate this pain and suffering? For me personally, this excruciating marriage eventually drove me to have a discreet affair with another woman.
My wife complains about everything
There is nothing that my wife does not complain about. I would be helping her do the laundry one night, and she would complain about how I do not put enough detergent into the washer. Instead of saying “thank you honey for helping me do the chores around the house”, she had to complain and make it demeaning for me when I am being nice to her and doing work around the house. Note, I have a full-time job that I have to do, which pay for the bills around the house. Doesn’t it make sense that I get some slack? Instead of appreciating what I am doing for her (since I felt like she is overwhelmed with taking care of the kids) she just does not need to complain so much. Why would I want to be with someone who constantly nags at me? I need to have an affair with another woman.
It is this constant nagging and complaints that drives me into the arms of another woman
Although I am not proud that I am cheating on my wife, but it has come down to the fact that in order to have somewhat of a sane life, I need someone who will appreciate me for who I am. I found it in a the arms of another married woman. We connected online and eventually met up face to face after 3 months of flirting online, doing the online affair stuff. We found that we both have so much in common, we both have a spouse who just does not appreciate us. We do not enjoy sex with our spouse any longer, and it is just a matter of convenience for us living under the same roof with our spouses.
We started out flirting online, then when we met, we knew that we are perfect for each other. We enjoyed each other’s company, we find each other incredibly attractive, and best of all, we enjoyed our sex life. We always try to find ways to find time for each other so that we can have something to look forward to. Even though we both know that having this extramarital relationship is not right, but for our own happiness and sanity check, this is the right thing for us.
Continue Reading »If you are going to have an affair, whether it be just an emotional affair, or even a physical and sexual affair, no one in his or her right mind would want to be caught cheating. Everyone who has ever had an affair in his or her lifetime is looking to have a discreet affair or a secret affair. The consequence of getting caught cheating on your spouse or partner can be devastating, both emotionally and or financially. With that said, I was not careful with my affair with my lover and recently my wife found evidence of me cheating on her.
How I got caught cheating
I got careless, thinking I cannot be caught at all. I would call my lover in the middle of night in my house when my wife and children are sleeping. Come to think of it, I was just asking to get caught. What if my wife had gotten up in the middle of the night and hear me having phone sex with my lover? What if my wife catches me video chatting with my lover? But this is not how I got caught. I got caught because I just was not careful of where I leave my cellphone. I had been texting my lover throughout the night. I got called away to the children’s room for a few minutes and I just left my cellphone in plain sight. When the text came from my lover and made a vibrating sound, my wife was right there and saw the message. It was quite obvious that I was having an affair when the text says “I can’t wait to put you in my mouth”. It is something so careless and stupid that cost my affair to be put on a long hiatus.
In summary, you have to be careful
For me, I have stopped having an affair for a while. I “promised” my wife that I will never do it again, and say that I did not want to lose her or my children. I know that she does not fully trust me yet, but at least she is not asking for a divorce so as to put a big hole in my financial situation. So my advise to you, do not feel invincible that you can have an affair and not be caught. Do everything in your power to make sure that you remove any evidence of your extramarital relationship. It is the one little slip up that can cost you your marriage or your relationship with your partner. Unless you are looking to get caught cheating, I suggest that you take every necessary step to conceal your cheating ways.
Continue Reading »While it is natural to a man to want to have sex without a condom, it is definitely not a good idea if your sexual relationship is part of a discreet affair. There are several reasons which we will explore that should warn you why you should always be safe when having sex with your lover.
Most important reason: be safe
While you might know your lover for years before the both of embarked on a sexual relationship, you can never be sure of what each other has in terms of physical and sexual history. Just because one person looks physically fit, it does not mean that the person does not carry any dormant diseases such as syphilis, chlamydia, or the ever dreaded sexually transmitted disease HIV (which might one day turned into the deadly AIDS). Why do you want to trade 15 minutes (even it is 1 or 2 hours) of fun for a lifetime of misery? Besides having to deal with a sexually transmitted disease, how would you possibly explain your physical condition to your spouse? You will find it impossible to come up with an excuse without telling your spouse that you have been having sex with another man or woman. For a man, typically it is an ego thing not wanting to wear a condom, do not be stupid. If you want to retain this sexual affair, make sure you wear a condom when having sex with your lover. For a man, you do not want to pick up a sexual disease because how would you explain to your spouse or partner. For a woman, do not consent to a sexual relationship without using a condom, even if your lover ask you to use the pregnancy pills. Most women consent to sex without condom because they want to make the men happy. Just realize you are in control of this extramarital relationship. So if your lover wants to have sex with you, tell him the only way he will is if he uses protection.
Avoid pregnancy
What if both of you consent to have to sex without using protection just to find out one day that the woman in this affair is pregnant? How would the woman explain to her spouse if she was married? How will the man tell his wife that he has fathered another child. You are both in this extramarital affair for the excitement of each other’s company, whether it is on an emotional or physical level. Do not ruin each other’s future by not using protection. For the man, it might feel less sensitive with the condom, but think of all that you will lose if you get your lover pregnant. You do not want to father another child because it is a quickest way to get a divorce from your wife and to have your children hate you for breaking up the family. For the woman, you will not able to convince your husband that the child is his, because the truth will come out one day.
Continue Reading »Today is my 4th year anniversary having an affair with my lover. We have been carrying on this discreet affair over the last 4 years happily. Even though it has been difficult looking for opportunities to be together alone at times, we still managed to find time for each other at least once a month so we can reconnect and rekindled what we have missed out on.
It all started out innocently
We are co-workers and we started out just talking innocently over lunch. We talked about work, about our family, about our vacations. Then as we became more and more comfortably with each other, the dialog became a little personal. Through our many lunch conversations, it was revealed that we are both not so happy with our marriages. She was never really in love with her husband and it was a marriage for convenience. I have grown apart from my wife over the course of the marriage. Overall, we found our conversations to be more engaging and we couldn’t wait to spend more time with each other.
Then our relationship became personal (sexual)
Through our many lunch talks, it became apparent to the both of us that we enjoy each other very much. Then unknowingly our conversations became personal. It all started innocently as she greeted me a good time since I was going on a vacation with the family. My lover told me to take the time to rekindle my relationship with my wife and may be I can salvage my marriage. I told her that it was beyond repair, and that my wife and I have not had sex for years. From there, our conversations became more and more personal. Eventually our curiosity took us into bed and we have not looked back since then. Our sex life is the best that we both have had, because we are able to make each other climax every single we have sex. I attributed such strong connection to each other because we have a deep emotional bond to each other.
Why not divorce my wife and be with my lover instead of having an affair?
Many people would wonder why I do not just get a divorce from my wife (and asked my lover to do the same with her husband) so that my lover and I can be together. As it turns out, we are both with children and the thought that our children will be without a set of full-time parents is too much for either of us. We have talked about it all the time, but getting this divorce is just not the right time. For now, we will continue with this secret affair, and may be when our children are older, we can find true happiness with each other.
Continue Reading »To have an affair outside of your committed relationship (whether you are married or committed to another partner), it is not something most people will approve of. To that end, if you are going to have this affair (whether it is just an emotional affair, or a physical affair), you better make sure that this is a discreet affair. A discreet affair means that only you and your lover knows about this secret arrangement and know one else in the world knows about it, at least not anyone that knows of the two of you.
Why is it important to have a discreet affair?
If you are going to have an affair, it just makes perfect sense to make it a secret from everyone else. If you are going to be open and careless about those who knows of this relationship, you are just inviting for trouble. Trouble in this sense means that you are looking to get caught cheating, and you are longing to get out of your existing relationship (whether it be a divorce from your spouse or a breakup with your partner). But if you are seriously considering having an affair, most people in their right minds will be looking to make this relationship a secret from everyone. Hence the best thing for you and your lover is to make sure that no one that you know of knows about your relationship. Even if you are believe you are in love with your lover, it still does not make any common sense to announce it to the world. Unless you are ready to take the next step, which is to divorce your spouse (or breakup with your partner), you should always keep a tight lip about your secret affair. If you want to prolong this secret affair, then you better make sure that you can keep this secret to your grave.
Making your discreet affair a secret will mean prolong happiness
The longer you can keep your affair a secret from everyone in this world, you have a better chance to be happier. Most people who are having an affair do it for one reason or another, but generally it is because they are not happy with their existing spouse or partner. So if you can be assured that no one knows of your secret affair with your lover, then there is a higher chance that you can keep this discreet affair “under wraps” from everyone else. As long as no one knows that you are having an affair, you should find yourself happier because you get to have the best of both worlds: you get to have your existing relationship with your spouse or partner, while you still have the added bonus of a secret lover on the side.
Have a discreet affair and be sure to keep your existing spouse or partner in the dark of your sexual rendezvous.
Continue Reading »Having an affair with a lover other than your spouse or partner can be fun and exciting, but there are definitely some things you must not do so as not to get caught red-handed (or your hand in the cookie jar so to speak). The consequence of getting caught cheating can be quite devastating. Besides just losing the joy, fun and excitement of being with another man or woman, you can potentially lose your spouse or partner. Losing your spouse or partner can mean big financial and emotional stress which you do not want to undertake since you are looking to have this secret affair.
Do not call your lover from home secretly
If you have a habit of calling your lover from home, it is never a good idea. You never know if your spouse or your partner will “sneak” up on you. Your spouse or partner might hear you sweet talking to your lover, and that can be spell immediate disaster to your marriage. Do not call your lover from any phone (or cellphone for that matter) when you are in the house. You might be so engrossed in your conversation with your lover that you forgot to listen out for your spouse or partner’s footstep drawing closer to you.
Do not be secretive about what you are doing on the computer
If you are using your computer to chat, or video chat with your lover, make sure that you do not get caught doing so. In fact, you never want to be caught doing anything if it has to do with this extramarital affair. But if you find that you are in the middle of a chat or video chat session, and your spouse or partner walks up to you, make sure that you have a way to switch the computer screen to another program immediately. Do not get all defensive and cover up the screen of the monitor (or slam the laptop screen close), because showing signs of guilt is a more telling sign that you are doing something illegal. Try to act like you are doing work for the office and nonchalantly switch the application so that your spouse or partner cannot see what you are doing.
Always be careful and mindful that your spouse or partner is not idiot, he or she can sense things if you are not careful. If you want to have a successful discreet affair, make sure that you cover all the basis of your affair, and not be exposed to any potential risks that can jeopardize your marriage. Make sure that you “pretend” to open and honest about everything, because once you start being secretive, your spouse or partner will immediately suspect something hanky-panky going on.
Continue Reading »If you are looking to have an affair, it will seem very convenient to do so with someone who lives close to you. Remember, it is widely accepted that everyone is separated to one another person by 6 steps or 6 other people, also known as six degrees of separation. If you believe in this theory, then having this discreet affair so “close” to home is one of the worst thing that you can do. By having a lover living close to you physically, it possesses a greater risk that someone will know either one of you.
Why is it a bad idea to find someone too close to you?
If your lover and you live close too close to each other, you can be actually bump into each other when you are both with your respective family. Or what if your lover visits the same restaurant that you and your family goes to on a regular basis, and then the waiter starts gossiping about someone they know in the vicinity? You do not want to take the chance of getting caught cheating on your spouse by living too close to your lover.
Why is it a good idea to find someone further away from you?
Sticking to the theory that everybody is separated from each other by 6 other people in the middle, if you can keep the physical distance between your lover and you to the maximum, you should have a better chance that not as many people about your lover and you. The less people know of your relationship with your lover, the better it is for you to survive this affair without getting caught. Even though you are physically further away from your lover, you can have a peace of mind that not too many people know about the both of you. You can even use that opportunity to display a little bit of PDA (public display of affection).
If you want to have that successful discreet affair, then you should try to find ways to make it discreet and a secret from everyone else other than the lover you have found. If you can keep the distance between your lover and you further away, there is a less likelihood that your secret affair will be discovered (not impossible, but less likely).
Continue Reading »Having a discreet affair is not that difficult
Most people find that having an affair can be difficult. Questions such as how do I find this other person to have an affair with or should I have an affair with a co-worker can be easily answered. But if you already have a lover that you are trying to hide from your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend, you also need to be mindful how you go about carrying out this salacious affair without getting caught. Here are 2 simple tips that you should always practice if you want to have that successful affair.
Plan ahead if you want to have that affair
If you already know that you are going to spend a day or two with your secret lover, then it is in your best interest to set up this outing ahead of time. You need to tell your spouse ahead of time, so that it is a planned event, not that your spouse should know your true intentions. For example, if you are planning on taking your lover to a bed and breakfast place for a weekend, make sure that you tell your spouse months ahead of time. Instead of telling your spouse the week of you going away, tell your spouse a month or two (or more) that you are expected to go away for work within the next month or so. By setting this expectation upfront, your spouse will be less likely to suspect you having an affair.
Make sure you have spare money that your spouse will not find
If you are going to have an extramarital affair, you will need to have a little bit of spare money no matter what you are going to be doing with your lover. Whether you are just taking your lover out for a night on the town, or something as simple as a dinner date, you have to be able to pay for the rendezvous. When it is time to pay, how will you pay for it? Will you be using a credit card? That’s a very bad idea because what happens if your spouse sees the monthly statement and on it there is a charge for $350 at some fancy French restaurant? How will you explain this fancy dinner when you have never had to host a business dinner? If you have cash, or a prepaid credit card that only you know about, then there is less likelihood your spouse will find out about your extracurricular activities with your lover.
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