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Having an affair with a lover other than your spouse or partner can be fun and exciting, but there are definitely some things you must not do so as not to get caught red-handed (or your hand in the cookie jar so to speak).  The consequence of getting caught cheating can be quite devastating.   Besides just losing the joy, fun and excitement of being with another man or woman, you can potentially lose your spouse or partner.  Losing your spouse or partner can mean big financial and emotional stress which you do not want to undertake since you are looking to have this secret affair.

Do not call your lover from home secretly

If you have a habit of calling your lover from home, it is never a good idea.  You never know if your spouse or your partner will “sneak” up on you.  Your spouse or partner might hear you sweet talking to your lover, and that can be spell immediate disaster to your marriage.  Do not call your lover from any phone (or cellphone for that matter) when you are in the house.  You might be so engrossed in your conversation with your lover that you forgot to listen out for your spouse or partner’s footstep drawing closer to you.

Do not be secretive about what you are doing on the computer

If you are using your computer to chat, or video chat with your lover, make sure that you do not get caught doing so.  In fact, you never want to be caught doing anything if it has to do with this extramarital affair.  But if you find that you are in the middle of a chat or video chat session, and your spouse or partner walks up to you, make sure that you have a way to switch the computer screen to another program immediately.  Do not get all defensive and cover up the screen of the monitor (or slam the laptop screen close), because showing signs of guilt is a more telling sign that you are doing something illegal.  Try to act like you are doing work for the office and nonchalantly switch the application so that your spouse or partner cannot see what you are doing.

Always be careful and mindful that your spouse or partner is not idiot, he or she can sense things if you are not careful.  If you want to have a successful discreet affair, make sure that you cover all the basis of your affair, and not be exposed to any potential risks that can jeopardize your marriage.  Make sure that you “pretend” to open and honest about everything, because once you start being secretive, your spouse or partner will immediately suspect something hanky-panky going on.

I married my husband over 15 years ago.  It was a marriage of convenience and mutual respect.  I did not want to remain single forever, so I ended up marrying the man who is a good friend of mine and was really nice to me.  There was never any real love between us, at least on my part anyway.   I believed I gave him what he needed, a wife and a family.  As it turns out, after being married for over a decade, this kind of loveless arrangement is not enough  for me anymore.  I want love, romance, and desire that most people dream of.  Because of the situation that I am, and my inability to get a divorce, I ended up looking for an affair outside of my marriage.

The man I am having an affair with is in the same boat, so the extramarital affair is mutual.  The man I have been having an affair with married his wife because she was his best friend and he felt obligated to do so.  Over time he fell “out of love” with her and needed someone he can truly love.

Our extramarital affair is keeping both of us alive

Since both of us are stuck in our respective dead end marriage and divorce is out of the question, we had to make the best out of our extramarital relationship.  We talked on the phone daily at work, and we are constantly texting each other.  We talk constantly about our lives, our jobs, our family, our likes and dislikes.  It is just very refreshing to finally find someone you have a lot in common with.  Someone you look forward to talking with, someone you cannot wait to see.  This is the way I had envision my love life to be, but even if it is only through an affair, I will take it anytime.

I am finally enjoying sex and wanting more

Since my marriage is just for convenience, there is never any real love and emotion attached to our marriage.  Needless to say, sex is but a chore with my husband.  I would give in to sex with my husband just to keep him happy, but I have never felt any sense of love or excitement when we are having sex.  And yes, I did not know what it feels like to have an orgasm.  Then came the man I am having an affair with.  We have the emotional connection along with the physical connection.  The man was able to give me multiple orgasms which was all but new to me.   Sex is so good between us that I cannot wait for our next rendezvous.  May be it is because I am emotionally attached to this man I am having an affair with, it just seems like nothing can ever go wrong with our affair.

Why I did not leave my husband

Just because I am enjoying life much more with a man who is not my husband does not necessarily mean that I should leave my husband.  We have 3 wonderful children together and the marriage is a very peaceful arrangement.  To uproot this arrangement and to tear my children from their father is just too cruel to inflict on them.  It is a possibility that I will leave my husband when my children gets older, definitely not until they can be independent and be on their own.  So for now, I am resorting to my extramarital affair and enjoying it totally.