Posts Tagged ‘ Divorce ’

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New Movie on Awareness Can Help Stop Divorce

Birmingham, AL (PRWEB) May 7, 2007

Marriage counseling expert Nancy Wasson, Ph.D. states that the long-term success of many marriages may largely depend on how the partners handle conflict within the relationship.

Wasson and her husband Lee Hefner have created a free short Internet video designed to help partners lessen the risk of an affair, marriage separation and eventual divorce resulting from repeated heated arguments in a relationship.

“Our movie Seasons of Love is intended to inspire and encourage people to have more self awareness in how they respond to their partner during conflict in a relationship,” says Dr. Wasson.

She continues by saying that viewers of the movie often have an “aha moment” when they realize that they have more power than they ever imagined before about charting the future of their relationship.

“The viewer response has been tremendous from all over the world from people who want a better relationship,” states Wasson. Seasons of Love may be viewed for free on the web site http://www.SeasonsOfLoveMovie.com.

“One of the most tragic eventual results when spouses fight again and again can be marriage separation or divorce,” says Dr. Wasson. “But if the couple learns some simple techniques, they can sometimes stop divorce and save the marriage even when they’ve had marital problems for some time.”

Wasson maintains that flaring tempers in a disagreement often trigger partners to say things to each other leading to an escalating spiral of conflict. And if the couple doesn’t know how to recover from the hurt feelings and smoldering resentment such arguments often produce, the long-term result may be a slippery slope to marriage counseling, marital separation, and finally divorce.

“But it doesn’t have to happen,” claims Wasson. “I hear upset spouses say, ‘He pushes my buttons and makes me lose my temper.’ But the truth is, no one else can ‘make’ you lose your temper. That is your choice.”

Dr. Wasson points out that there is a challenge as well as an opportunity when dealing with the conflict in a marriage. “Realize that between the stimulus of your partner’s critical remarks and your angry response, there’s a gap in which you can make a decision about how to respond.”

Dr. Wasson adds that watching the movie is an important first step in learning to minimize conflict during a disagreement with a spouse.

She says that subsequent steps include:

1. First clarify that you fully understand what’s going on by asking non-judgmental questions. Try to listen for the meaning and intent behind your partner’s words and actions instead of just focusing on the words. For example you might ask, “Did you really want to go to that party next week or did you just accept the invitation for us because you felt obligated to your friend?”

2. When it becomes evident that you and your partner disagree, ask yourself, “Would I rather be happy instead of being right in this case?” If you remember how much you value love and harmony in your relationship, you may decide to sometimes concede to your partner’s wishes, even if you would have taken a different approach.

3. If you find yourself feeling hot under the collar, first take ten deep breathes before you angrily respond to your mate. This will give you time to collect your thoughts and think of the big picture and how you want your relationship to be, not on how you’re feeling in that moment.

4. Finally, when you answer look for common ground that you both agree on before stating your objection, using a softening statement. You might say, “Honey, I know that it’s important to both of us to have a social life, but I really have to do some work at home that’s going to make it difficult for me to go to that party.”

Dr. Wasson concludes by saying, “One of the keys to having a great marriage is to remember what you really value in your relationship and to think twice before you respond with anger to your mate.”

Nancy Wasson, Ph.D., is the co-creator of Overcome Control Conflict with Your Spouse or Partner: What to Do if Your Mate Says You’re Too Controlling OR if You’re Tired of Being Controlled, available at http://www.ControllingSpouse.com.

She and her husband Lee Hefner also created the free movie Seasons of Love, available at http://www.SeasonsOfLoveMovie.com, which is designed to help couples develop more self awareness.

In addition, she is the co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says ‘I Don’t Love You Anymore!’ and offers a free weekly marriage advice newsletter at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com.

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©Copyright 1997-

, Vocus PRW Holdings, LLC.
Vocus, PRWeb, and Publicity Wire are trademarks or registered trademarks of Vocus, Inc. or Vocus PRW Holdings, LLC.

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NJ Divorce Advisors, LLC Announces Seven Ways To Protect Yourself Financially In A Divorce

Red Bank, NJ (PRWEB) November 10, 2011

Divorces can be ugly. Even if you think your soon-to-be ex is trustworthy, scorned spouses can be vicious. What better way to screw up someone’s life then by draining a bank account or destroying one’s credit? It happens a lot. While one article can’t tell you every way to protect yourself or offer specific legal advice to your situation, New Jersey Divorce Advisors, LLC, has partnered with Family Attorney Richard Panitch of Marks & Klein, LLP to compile seven ways you can protect yourself financially if you’re going through a divorce:

1. Get a free credit report: You’re probably saying to yourself, “I know my credit score and my debt situation.” That might very well be true, but many times, a spouse won’t tell you they bought that new sofa they always wanted with your joint credit card. Then they’ll try to make you pay for it. In the case of infidelity, cheating spouses often have a motivation to hide certain charges and assets from you. One way to do a quick health check on your debt is to review your credit reports issued by the three major credit reporting companies: TransUnion, Experian and Equifax. You can get a free credit report from all three, once a year by going to the web site: http://www.annualcreditreport.com. Caution: Many credit score companies try to make lots of money by monitoring your credit for you. For the most part, you don’t need a service and the above reports are totally free.

2. Figure out your assets and liabilities: Check your bank statements, brokerage accounts, and credit card statements. Be sure to check for new accounts for which you’re not aware. Even if one spouse is unaware that a debt exists, he or she can be held liable for repayment after the divorce is finalized. While a spouse in New Jersey has a duty to be forthcoming about assets under the state’s matrimonial law, not every spouse takes that duty to heart. The best way you can protect yourself is to be educated. An experienced lawyer and capable financial team can also help tremendously.

3. Figure out the cost basis of investments: Do you know the tax implications of your investments? A 50-50 split might not be as equitable as you think. If one of your stocks has appreciated significantly since you purchased it, you’ll be paying capital gains taxes on those appreciated shares when you sell. You might also be in a situation where your largest marital assets are illiquid — can’t be converted into cash — such as a retirement plan or your personal residence. You must consider tax consequences, early withdrawal penalties, and transaction costs to equally divide assets.

4. Stop putting your paychecks into a joint checking account: Too many terrible tales exist beginning with the words, “My spouse is very trustworthy and we’ve always put the money in the joint account to share expenses.” That warm fuzzy feeling doesn’t last when the other spouse writes a check and cleans out that joint account. With most joint accounts, either party can go in and remove funds without the other’s permission. The best way to protect yourself is to set up a separate account in your name only. Again, a good financial advisor can ensure accounts are titled correctly.

5. Stop the joint credit cards: If you have opened credit card accounts with your spouse, put some protections in place. Cancel the joint cards. Even if you both agree that one spouse will be responsible for that credit card, the bank has both of your guarantees and doesn’t have to honor the agreement between you and they won’t. The credit card company just wants its money back plus interest. Protect yourself. If you must have joint credit cards, establish low credit limits with the financial institution and make sure you confirm the arrangement in writing.

6. The Settlement Agreement matters and it matters a lot: In New Jersey, most divorce cases are settled by what we call a Property Settlement Agreement. This agreement disposes of not only the property and financial issues in a divorce, but also child support, alimony and custody issues. The language of that agreement matters. The Court doesn’t rule on whether the settlement is fair. They rule on whether the agreement was voluntary and if the parties believe it’s fair. If you’re decision proves to be unwise, you’ll be stuck with that agreement once the Court rules. Don’t write this agreement yourself. It’s never a good idea. Lawyers and financial planners who work in this area are trained to think about important issues that most individuals might not. These can include rebuilding, estate planning issues, avoiding IRS penalties and liability, life insurance (making sure the children are protected in case of tragedy), dealing with privately held businesses, college financial planning and so on.

7. Update your Estate Planning Documents and Beneficiary Designations: Many people don’t realize that beneficiary designations on accounts such as IRAs, 401(k)s, pensions and annuities supersede what is written in a Will. We’ve heard so many stories about a wealthy individual dying and his or her ex-spouse from 20 years prior receiving a significant sum of money. This happens when the decedent fails to update a beneficiary designation. A good practice, whether divorcing or not, is to review beneficiary designation forms annually. With all the legal, financial, and emotional chaos a divorce can bring, many people forget to update their estate planning documents. Do you really want to leave all your worldly possessions to your soon-to-be ex? Do you really want your soon-to-be ex acting as your Power of Attorney if you become incapacitated?

About NJDA

New Jersey Divorce Advisors, LLC, was formed to help divorcing individuals and their attorneys make informed decisions and negotiate equitable divorce settlements. Trained in both mediation and collaborative divorce, our advisors are equipped to navigate the most complex situations. We may be hired as a neutral third party or as a client advocate.

For more information about the benefits of collaborative divorce, visit http://www.njdivorceadvisors.com.

Richard Panitch is a Family Attorney with Marks & Klein, LLP in Red Bank, NJ.

Bryan Koslow is a Certified Financial Planner and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst with NJ Divorce Advisors, LLC, in Red Bank, NJ.

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©Copyright 1997-

, Vocus PRW Holdings, LLC.
Vocus, PRWeb, and Publicity Wire are trademarks or registered trademarks of Vocus, Inc. or Vocus PRW Holdings, LLC.

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